Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
