Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
