I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
