In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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