I want you more than these girls want KFC
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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