I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
