This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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