I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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