One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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