it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
