Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I had to cum in my sink.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
