so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
