i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
two words...techno handjob
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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