Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah, where have you been?

(407): View more from Florida

Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(509): View more from Washington

Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.

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(714): View more from California

after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

(901): View more from Tennessee

BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

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(518): View more from New York

Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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(806): View more from Texas

Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?

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