if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
