let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
