Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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