We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
