Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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