...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
