I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize