You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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