I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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