areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
