I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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