True but thats because hes a fetus.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
