The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...