Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.