i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
