every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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