I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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