i just wanna soil my oats bro
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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