Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
