hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
