you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
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We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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