I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
