I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize