As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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