Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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