I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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