Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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