Will you blow on my dice?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
