He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
