If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
