Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
