I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize