pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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