I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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