omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
