Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
