Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize