my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sext me about skeletons
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
