I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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