You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
