Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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