Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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