nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
