Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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