I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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