i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
