Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
