There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
